You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My liver just had a heart attack.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
