i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
