Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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