we're chasing vodka with high fives
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
