you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
