Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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