we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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