there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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