It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
