I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He kissed a someone with a penis
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
