3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
