The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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