You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
