Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
