if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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