Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize