She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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