problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
