I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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