my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
