What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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