A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was not drunk enough for that final.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
