I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
