she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
