three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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