no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The ass gains better be worth it
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