If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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