I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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