Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
