Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
