I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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