I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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