Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
