Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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