You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
