there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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