You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
