Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
