drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
