The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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