I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
