i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
