If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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