I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
