Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
