You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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