Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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