It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
