I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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