I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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