So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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