He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I need to calm my uterus...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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