Quick, to the slutcave!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
