It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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