You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
