i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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