small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
