...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
