Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
