Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
