office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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