real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
